Where to go from here?

My Mac Speech microphone isn't working anymore. It is under warranty so I will eventually get it fixed. For now, I am back to typing with one hand and dictating my blogs to Ms. L.

I recently went to the doctor to have an MRI done and the tumor is growing, although I am not sure how fast. It is the same kind of tumor as before. It is the reason for the numbness on my right side and the only reason for the weakness on my left side. The doctor said that if he were going to have prescribed Avastin to me, it would have been now. He recommended more chemo, one I have not tried before called CBNU. No word yet on how long I will be on drugs. I go back to the doctor on July 23, so we'll see what happens.

I am still having bad headaches, and I recently had a major toothache and ended up having a tooth removed (for those in the know, they removed the #18 tooth on the bottom lower left).

I am still looking for a new apartment and would like one with a shower that has easy access (one I can just walk into and that doesn't have a tub I need to step over). Things in my life are still pretty sad and hopeless, and I just don't know where to go from here.

On a happier note, I went to a bbq today, and Jason definitely knows how to make some good meat!

Broadcasting live

22+at
It is Saturday, May 22, 2010 and I am dictating to my computer life tonight for the very first time to tell all of you that I am now a proud owner of MacSpeech Dictate and MacSpeech scribe which will help me use the computer like I used to before my arm and leg went weak. Please bear with me as I am still learning how to talk to a computer and make it say what I wanted to say and how I want to say it. So far the whole installation and training process of this new software has taken me an hour it's kind of fun, using this program -- but I miss the ability to do it all by myself. But the software, is quite impressive I must say -- so I think I will get over my frustration just a little bit. I promise Jennifer, scratch, undo with I'm trying to erase that it's not working I did not need that, after Jennifer and the instructions said to say scratch that but it did not work few I mean I am still learning. I do actually have to say. After the end of a sentence.That sentence was supposed to say, that I actually have to say the word " period When ending a sentence.

Just nod if you can hear me

No updates on my arm and leg, just the same old same old there. I am still going to physical therapy in Sacramento but the process is moving too slow and I am getting frustrated and depressed about the whole thing.

I am also feeling seriously depressed from all the weight I’ve gained from the medications, and since I can’t be very active, it doesn’t help the problem much.

On a somewhat bright note, I am looking in going to Health South in Bakersfield to try and get back to being able to move faster. This would not be a permanent move. Unfortunately, I am waiting to hear back to see if my health insurance was approved or not. These places take people more seriously if they are recommended by a hospital, and not by someone who is at home. Well if they only knew my condition….

On a very happy note, Happy Easter to everyone. Let’s all remember what this day really means to Christians.

** dictated by Carina, typed by Lesley

I Got A Feeling….

Today’s gonna be a good good day!

I have a lot to do today and I am anxious to get started. It’s only 5:40 in the morning and I’m wide awake. Today will be my fifth hyperbaric treatment. Everybody asks me what it’s like. It’s kind of hard to describe, but I’ll try.

Imagine a fancy tanning bed. Everyday at 2:00 p.m. I get up onto a gurney and I’m rolled into a big plastic chamber. For an hour, I lie down and try to stretch the left side of my body to get it working again. There is a TV on if I want to watch it, otherwise I’m just lying there, breathing pure oxygen for an hour. It has started to dry out my face. My skin is very dry and gross. It doesn’t hurt, yawning gets old, but other than that, it’s just a fancy nap time. I have 35 more treatments after today. I’ll be done sometime by the end of February.

It has now been over 3 weeks since I have been able to really move my left arm and leg like normal. I am still mad at what happened. I don’t want to spend a lot of time trying to figure out why or how it happened. I just want to use my arm again.

I am supposed to have a physical therapy evaluation today. I am still waiting for my appointment time. We are going to try a stim (stimulation) treatment (a machine that will shock my muscles to see if they will move at all). I am very anxious to try.

My good church community has a meal schedule for me so I am well loved and well fed for the next couple of weeks.

I am still having a hard time trying to be patient. My arm is very heavy and I am tired of walking around like a zombie, but I still think it’s going to be a good, good day.

Dictated by Carina, Typed by Lesley.

pics of hairdo

reddish for fun and a shot of me from the mall