The anthem of my life, the cry of my spirit; and the hope for my future.
I don't have a mansion or a fancy car or gold records on the wall, but I am dearly loved. I've been blessed with several good fortunes and countless gifts. I'm rich in spirit and in wealth. I have close friends that I can depend on, share a good time with, and be accountable to. I have a nuclear and extended family that loves and supports me in what I strive to do, and accepts me as am where ever I am.
Sure childhood wasn't easy, and I saw many things happen in my home that I wished I didn't, but I've got everything else. Yes, my parents went through a nasty divorce that put my sister and I in the middle of a few traumatic episodes. It's unfortunate that I only got to live in a house for a few years. I was put in a neglected kid's home while my sister got to be with dad, and I remember being left to fend for myself while my mother was out taking drugs and breaking the law, but so what? These are the earliest memories I have of when God started to teach me how to be brave.
"..They say I'm crazy but I have a good time.."
I have good health. I am looked after. Happily I am still able to look and care after others. I am living exceptionally well.
All the achievements that I've been able to complete to this day are great gifts that I can be proud of even though I belittle each one of them. I am able to make life happen for myself, instead of walking though it believing its made me. Even though I think these choices are easy and there's no excuse for not doing them, I guess it's kinda cool that I have.
I don't feel that my life lacks any value or meaning. I don't feel that I lack the same because I am without a husband, house, high-paying job, children, etc. And I am 30 years old! Shouldn't I be afraid? I know other women wouldn't want the same. We (myself included) freak out when we reach 30 years of age and don't have any of the before-mentioned dreams. I was one of them.
"..Lucky I'm sane after all I've been through
I can't complain but sometimes I still do.."
I suffer from injured pride. I am humbled because it took the cancer stick slap-in-the-face to wake me up from all my frustration and despair. But overjoyed now that I have realized that though all of the above desires can be wonderful blessings in a woman's life, they certainly don't make it. I wasted too many years being upset that I had none of these situations in my life. I want those years back!
It's much easier to be a friend, servant, believer, and a woman without all of that self-inflicted pressure. I wish it for all my single girlfriends, and boyfriends with similar issues.
And the Cancer? I have been able to walk through treatment mainly on my own, without any difficulty. I have plenty of support, and a mostly put-together brain that allows me to work, drive, talk/think/joke/laugh/read/ and bake cookies without any real problems. I get annoyed when I fuse words together, or forget my keys, but I'm thinking that problem is more to old age setting in..;) And lest I forget, I GOT TO GO TO AUSTRALIA!!!!
"..I keep on going guess I'll never know why-LIFE'S BEEN GOOD TO ME SO FAR...!"
*Lyrics borrowed from Joe Walsh with possible permission.
7 comments:
Carina--It was so great to read through this post and hear the joy in your voice. God is awesome!!!
Carina, I love your attitude! What a wonderful post. You are such an example to others of how to maintain a spirit of hope and of joy no matter the circumstances. Praise God!
how come I never saw this? love it! love you!
Thank you for the inspiration you give to the rest of us to get our priorities straight! I appreciate your spirit! Hugs!
Amy
Ditto to everything everyone has said. I couldn't have said it better myself. You rock Cargate.
Love your + attitude! xx
Carina, you are such an inspiration. I loved reading your blogs. It is amazing to see your courageous spirit show joy through all of your circumstances. I need to learn from you!
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