Peace Train

Here's a shot of me on the train ride home from tehachapi last month. It is from my fave seat on the train. The upper level, single seats just outside the train doors when you walk through the cars. A lone seat by the window. You can see from the pic that my hair is growing back in a messy fasion. I am bothered by it because I feel like I look a little like "Sham-bo." If you don't already know who that is, I'm not going to tell you. It's embarassing. lets just say that I have curls on top of my head and at the base of my neck. I feel like I've got a mullet forming.

to this, I say: NO-SHAM-BO!!!



Meanwhile, SN&R did a recent feature story on my little predicament:

Coming Soon: My Next Follow-Up

Nov 15-17

San Diego

Starring: Me
Dr. Alksne as the Neurosurgeon
Dr. Murphy as the Radiation Oncologist

With an MRI and a blood test and a whole lot of questions.


The past week has been ok has far as headaches go, but I do feel tired often. I'm concerned about some of the things going on in my head. I may have to have more treatment with a drug called Avastin. It's a chemotherapy type drug used to help clear up the radiation effect that is causing some of my problems. (headaches, fatigue)

I'm a little nervous but more anxious for the next follow up results. If I have to have additional treatment, I'm not sure for how long it will be. I'll find out more soon and will let you all know!

My Prime-Time Hospital Drama and Brilliant Docs

Here are some little pics of my Docs that you've all heard of so often.

Dr. Murphy, the Radiation Oncologist:






and the brilliant neurosurgeon, Dr. Alksne:




My docs feel like my MRI scan from September looks good. There's a bit of swelling and other radiation effect, but that was to be expected. I'm slated for a follow-up exam in November just to make sure that there haven't been any changes. At this point I'll continue to be seen every few months. I still feel mostly well, and can manage the headaches and fatigue with a little headache medicine and some tea. More to come soon.

More Pictures

Some of you know I've been working on a small craft project. It's a bulletin board in black to match my black/white room. The pics and collage on the front are pieces of the cards that many of you gave to me while I was sick and in and out of treatment. I love them! I pieced them together to match the colors of my room...this is how it turned out:



The pool outside my door. I forgot to add this one earlier when I was showing pics of my new place. The pool deep end goes to 8 feet.



Some pink flowers growing by the pool...what kind are they?

Sensory Overload

I am completely, 100 percent, in tune with my senses. All five of them. Over the passed week I have been experiencing several emotions in motion. I'm overwhelmed.

Let's start with Joy; I have a deep sense of it all day long each day. I am so incredibly happy to be alive. I can not wake up or go out or stroll along without feeling joyful consistently with every passing moment. I mean these things literally.



Its summer in Sacramento. Currently we are experiencing lower than normal temperatures for this time of year. Each day is incredibly beautiful and bright. Warm. I bask in this beauty all day long. I see beauty walking out my door, riding my bike, running errands. I feel the warmth of the Sun/Son. :) Nothing is hidden.



Its as if I was asleep before, and now my eyes are opened and can see clearly now. (I can see all obstacles in my way). I thought I was alive before, but it's hard to believe now-seeing, touching, feeling like I do today. Was I dead? I am hoping that as you read these words you understand exactly what I am trying to say. How did i exist before?

I remember my doctors telling me that staying on Dilantin for too long could have problems. They always told me that they would eventually switch my anti-convulsion meds to Keppra. They said that when people came off of dilantin it was like they suddenly "woke up." I'm sure that part of my energy over the passed week comes from adjusting to the new medicine, (and caffeine) but by no means is it the only excuse.




It's almost been a year since my Cancer diagnosis. I have learned much about myself throughout this journey. To what extent was I depressed before? How did I ever have or know a good time? Where did all my friends and loved ones come from (you're all saints)? I know I've laughed and had great times, but it only feels like I'm just beginning to experience life for real now. It's a humbling feeling for me. Wanting to fight feelings of toughness and pride like "I can handle anything" that comes my way, but trying just to appreciate the abundant grace that has been extended my way.


So comes the fear. When will the other shoe drop? Life can't stay this good for long... Please pray for me you praying kinds-I know that this is just a typical fear for someone who is use to drama and doesn't know how to handle when things "go right." :) I am hoping to live a long life, cancer or no cancer-it's irrelevant.



Awake, my soul, and SING!

Now, bring me that horizon

Drink up me hearties yo ho!

;)

The Joy of Living

I am now all moved and settled into my new apartment that is just a few blocks down the street from my old house in East Sacramento. I'm still nestled under the sycamore trees amongst all the old homes built in the 40's and off the side street from some of the J Street shops. I love my new apartment. It is the perfect sized one bedroom and I'm just off the pool. I've even got a wood burning fireplace!

Since my last update about my headaches, I've been mostly pain free. I had a bad week about a week ago due to some insomnia and stress, but I'm feeling better the past few days. Adam and I cleaned the old house and each got our own places just down the street from McKinley Park.

I took some pictures of the apartment. Ignore the clutter, come see it in person, it's nice. :)

The dining and kitchen area



My walk-in closet. Completely glorious!



The Living Room



I forgot to take a picture of the pool. More to come later. Now in the meantime while I am waiting to hear from UC San Diego about my next MRI I am keeping busy.

I want this

Electra Daisy

3-Speed Cruiser