That's What She Said

Where to go from here?

2010-07-11T17:17:00.000-07:00

My Mac Speech microphone isn't working anymore. It is under warranty so I will eventually get it fixed. For now, I am back to typing with one hand and dictating my blogs to Ms. L.

I recently went to the doctor to have an MRI done and the tumor is growing, although I am not sure how fast. It is the same kind of tumor as before. It is the reason for the numbness on my right side and the only reason for the weakness on my left side. The doctor said that if he were going to have prescribed Avastin to me, it would have been now. He recommended more chemo, one I have not tried before called CBNU. No word yet on how long I will be on drugs. I go back to the doctor on July 23, so we'll see what happens.

I am still having bad headaches, and I recently had a major toothache and ended up having a tooth removed (for those in the know, they removed the #18 tooth on the bottom lower left).

I am still looking for a new apartment and would like one with a shower that has easy access (one I can just walk into and that doesn't have a tub I need to step over). Things in my life are still pretty sad and hopeless, and I just don't know where to go from here.

On a happier note, I went to a bbq today, and Jason definitely knows how to make some good meat!

Broadcasting live

2010-05-22T20:49:00.000-07:00

22+at
It is Saturday, May 22, 2010 and I am dictating to my computer life tonight for the very first time to tell all of you that I am now a proud owner of MacSpeech Dictate and MacSpeech scribe which will help me use the computer like I used to before my arm and leg went weak. Please bear with me as I am still learning how to talk to a computer and make it say what I wanted to say and how I want to say it. So far the whole installation and training process of this new software has taken me an hour it's kind of fun, using this program -- but I miss the ability to do it all by myself. But the software, is quite impressive I must say -- so I think I will get over my frustration just a little bit. I promise Jennifer, scratch, undo with I'm trying to erase that it's not working I did not need that, after Jennifer and the instructions said to say scratch that but it did not work few I mean I am still learning. I do actually have to say. After the end of a sentence.That sentence was supposed to say, that I actually have to say the word " period When ending a sentence.

Just nod if you can hear me

2010-03-29T11:39:00.000-07:00

No updates on my arm and leg, just the same old same old there. I am still going to physical therapy in Sacramento but the process is moving too slow and I am getting frustrated and depressed about the whole thing.

I am also feeling seriously depressed from all the weight I’ve gained from the medications, and since I can’t be very active, it doesn’t help the problem much.

On a somewhat bright note, I am looking in going to Health South in Bakersfield to try and get back to being able to move faster. This would not be a permanent move. Unfortunately, I am waiting to hear back to see if my health insurance was approved or not. These places take people more seriously if they are recommended by a hospital, and not by someone who is at home. Well if they only knew my condition….

On a very happy note, Happy Easter to everyone. Let’s all remember what this day really means to Christians.

** dictated by Carina, typed by Lesley

I Got A Feeling….

2010-01-05T05:39:00.000-08:00

Today’s gonna be a good good day!

I have a lot to do today and I am anxious to get started. It’s only 5:40 in the morning and I’m wide awake. Today will be my fifth hyperbaric treatment. Everybody asks me what it’s like. It’s kind of hard to describe, but I’ll try.

Imagine a fancy tanning bed. Everyday at 2:00 p.m. I get up onto a gurney and I’m rolled into a big plastic chamber. For an hour, I lie down and try to stretch the left side of my body to get it working again. There is a TV on if I want to watch it, otherwise I’m just lying there, breathing pure oxygen for an hour. It has started to dry out my face. My skin is very dry and gross. It doesn’t hurt, yawning gets old, but other than that, it’s just a fancy nap time. I have 35 more treatments after today. I’ll be done sometime by the end of February.

It has now been over 3 weeks since I have been able to really move my left arm and leg like normal. I am still mad at what happened. I don’t want to spend a lot of time trying to figure out why or how it happened. I just want to use my arm again.

I am supposed to have a physical therapy evaluation today. I am still waiting for my appointment time. We are going to try a stim (stimulation) treatment (a machine that will shock my muscles to see if they will move at all). I am very anxious to try.

My good church community has a meal schedule for me so I am well loved and well fed for the next couple of weeks.

I am still having a hard time trying to be patient. My arm is very heavy and I am tired of walking around like a zombie, but I still think it’s going to be a good, good day.

Dictated by Carina, Typed by Lesley.

pics of hairdo

2010-01-02T08:15:00.000-08:00

reddish for fun and a shot of me from the mall

the waiting is the hardest part

2009-12-29T08:26:00.000-08:00

Dictated by Carina, typed by Lesley.

I know that people are asking for updates, so this is the best I can do for now.

On December 11, I had an infusion of the new treatment that my doctor’s had been recommending called Avastin. I got it at UC Davis (because I live in Sacramento, this is where my community is and it made the most sense). The infusion was in my left arm and it took an hour and a half and when it was done, about half an hour later, I could no longer move my left arm or leg to its normal ability. This persisted through the weekend, causing me a scare because all of a sudden I was unable to take care of myself.

I called my neurosurgeon in San Diego because he has always been very thorough with my care and he said that I needed to immediately go to an ER and tell them about what was going on and to get a CT scan to make sure that there was no brain bleed. I also called UC Davis to tell them what happened and they took 3 hours to call me back and tell me the same thing, to go to the ER.

I ended up flying to San Diego because my doctors in San Diego provide me with better care. I was admitted into the hospital for the night. A CT scan revealed no brain bleed (Yay, that’s what we wanted!), but a lot of swelling on the right side of the brain pushing over to the left. So I was immediately put on steroids to reduce the swelling and I was also given a drug called Manatrol to suck all the fluid out of my body. Neither of these things would help in the immediate sense to give me movement in my arm and leg on the left side.

I was sent home from the hospital on high dose steroids for a day and I am now slowly tapering off the steroids on a week by week basis. Though all of this came by a surprise, I wish to extend my love and gratitude to my friends, to my family at church, to Scott and Jennifer, and to countless people who have offered to help me in anyway they can, just to make being an invalid a little easier. I have tried to be strong because I thought that’s what God wanted me to do in all of this and it has been hard and I have lost my hope a couple of times but because of everyone’s help, each day gets easier and I can stretch my left arm a little bit, even though it still won’t move like normal. I can walk for the most part, but I look funny on my left side because my arm is basically dead weight.

Last night my friend, Marianne, took me to the gym to try and loosen up my muscles with a spa treatment. I was very buoyant in the water and almost fell over but got to relax for a little while, which was nice. I still cannot stretch out my arm, move it freely, or open and close my fist. At least my left leg is slowly coming back to life and if feels good to walk for the most part.

There have been people who have been so friendly. For example, a kind woman at the gym helped me get dressed after my shower because I could not do it myself. A stranger came up to me in the spa and asked if she could pray for my arm and she also gave it a massage. It is an uncomfortable practice for me to learn how to let other people help and love me when it is so hard to do things for other people. So a lesson I’ve had to learn is a little bit of humility and its been rewarding to watch how when I let someone help me, they seem to feel good about being able to be useful and sometimes just allowing them that opportunity is enough of a blessing for them as opposed to me slapping them in the face and rejecting their help.

Today I am excited to go out to a movie with a friend who struggled with breast cancer and who has been through quite a battle. We are going to go shopping and I am going to finally get some new walking shoes! We are also going to have a girl’s day at the movies.

I love everyone and I appreciate your prayers and support.

And Carina wanted me to type that I am awesome (she made me type it!!). And this is from Lesley – I love Carina and my prayers are daily going out to her!!

Peace Train

2009-10-20T19:17:00.000-07:00

Here's a shot of me on the train ride home from tehachapi last month. It is from my fave seat on the train. The upper level, single seats just outside the train doors when you walk through the cars. A lone seat by the window. You can see from the pic that my hair is growing back in a messy fasion. I am bothered by it because I feel like I look a little like "Sham-bo." If you don't already know who that is, I'm not going to tell you. It's embarassing. lets just say that I have curls on top of my head and at the base of my neck. I feel like I've got a mullet forming.

to this, I say: NO-SHAM-BO!!!

Meanwhile, SN&R did a recent feature story on my little predicament:

Coming Soon: My Next Follow-Up

2009-10-15T19:57:00.000-07:00

Nov 15-17

San Diego

Starring: Me
Dr. Alksne as the Neurosurgeon
Dr. Murphy as the Radiation Oncologist

With an MRI and a blood test and a whole lot of questions.

The past week has been ok has far as headaches go, but I do feel tired often. I'm concerned about some of the things going on in my head. I may have to have more treatment with a drug called Avastin. It's a chemotherapy type drug used to help clear up the radiation effect that is causing some of my problems. (headaches, fatigue)

I'm a little nervous but more anxious for the next follow up results. If I have to have additional treatment, I'm not sure for how long it will be. I'll find out more soon and will let you all know!

My Prime-Time Hospital Drama and Brilliant Docs

2009-09-21T18:11:00.000-07:00

Here are some little pics of my Docs that you've all heard of so often.

Dr. Murphy, the Radiation Oncologist:

and the brilliant neurosurgeon, Dr. Alksne:

My docs feel like my MRI scan from September looks good. There's a bit of swelling and other radiation effect, but that was to be expected. I'm slated for a follow-up exam in November just to make sure that there haven't been any changes. At this point I'll continue to be seen every few months. I still feel mostly well, and can manage the headaches and fatigue with a little headache medicine and some tea. More to come soon.

More Pictures

2009-08-12T20:45:00.000-07:00

Some of you know I've been working on a small craft project. It's a bulletin board in black to match my black/white room. The pics and collage on the front are pieces of the cards that many of you gave to me while I was sick and in and out of treatment. I love them! I pieced them together to match the colors of my room...this is how it turned out:

The pool outside my door. I forgot to add this one earlier when I was showing pics of my new place. The pool deep end goes to 8 feet.

Some pink flowers growing by the pool...what kind are they?

Sensory Overload

2009-08-06T01:26:00.000-07:00

I am completely, 100 percent, in tune with my senses. All five of them. Over the passed week I have been experiencing several emotions in motion. I'm overwhelmed.

Let's start with Joy; I have a deep sense of it all day long each day. I am so incredibly happy to be alive. I can not wake up or go out or stroll along without feeling joyful consistently with every passing moment. I mean these things literally.

Its summer in Sacramento. Currently we are experiencing lower than normal temperatures for this time of year. Each day is incredibly beautiful and bright. Warm. I bask in this beauty all day long. I see beauty walking out my door, riding my bike, running errands. I feel the warmth of the Sun/Son. :) Nothing is hidden.

Its as if I was asleep before, and now my eyes are opened and can see clearly now. (I can see all obstacles in my way). I thought I was alive before, but it's hard to believe now-seeing, touching, feeling like I do today. Was I dead? I am hoping that as you read these words you understand exactly what I am trying to say. How did i exist before?

I remember my doctors telling me that staying on Dilantin for too long could have problems. They always told me that they would eventually switch my anti-convulsion meds to Keppra. They said that when people came off of dilantin it was like they suddenly "woke up." I'm sure that part of my energy over the passed week comes from adjusting to the new medicine, (and caffeine) but by no means is it the only excuse.

It's almost been a year since my Cancer diagnosis. I have learned much about myself throughout this journey. To what extent was I depressed before? How did I ever have or know a good time? Where did all my friends and loved ones come from (you're all saints)? I know I've laughed and had great times, but it only feels like I'm just beginning to experience life for real now. It's a humbling feeling for me. Wanting to fight feelings of toughness and pride like "I can handle anything" that comes my way, but trying just to appreciate the abundant grace that has been extended my way.

So comes the fear. When will the other shoe drop? Life can't stay this good for long... Please pray for me you praying kinds-I know that this is just a typical fear for someone who is use to drama and doesn't know how to handle when things "go right." :) I am hoping to live a long life, cancer or no cancer-it's irrelevant.

Awake, my soul, and SING!

Now, bring me that horizon

Drink up me hearties yo ho!

;)

The Joy of Living

2009-08-04T21:48:00.000-07:00

I am now all moved and settled into my new apartment that is just a few blocks down the street from my old house in East Sacramento. I'm still nestled under the sycamore trees amongst all the old homes built in the 40's and off the side street from some of the J Street shops. I love my new apartment. It is the perfect sized one bedroom and I'm just off the pool. I've even got a wood burning fireplace!

Since my last update about my headaches, I've been mostly pain free. I had a bad week about a week ago due to some insomnia and stress, but I'm feeling better the past few days. Adam and I cleaned the old house and each got our own places just down the street from McKinley Park.

I took some pictures of the apartment. Ignore the clutter, come see it in person, it's nice. :)

The dining and kitchen area

My walk-in closet. Completely glorious!

The Living Room

I forgot to take a picture of the pool. More to come later. Now in the meantime while I am waiting to hear from UC San Diego about my next MRI I am keeping busy.

I want this

2009-06-22T09:35:00.000-07:00

Electra Daisy

3-Speed Cruiser

This Is HOCKEYTOWN!!

2009-06-06T21:51:00.000-07:00

Detroit is back, after losing 3&4 on the road. The Wings showed the Pens a 5-0 shutout. Pittsburgh couldn't keep their cool and my boys scored 3 powerplay goals.

Game 6 is back in Pittsburgh. Last year, the Wings won the cup in 6. Only drawback was winning on the road.

Life's been good to me so far..

2009-06-02T20:55:00.000-07:00

The anthem of my life, the cry of my spirit; and the hope for my future.

I don't have a mansion or a fancy car or gold records on the wall, but I am dearly loved. I've been blessed with several good fortunes and countless gifts. I'm rich in spirit and in wealth. I have close friends that I can depend on, share a good time with, and be accountable to. I have a nuclear and extended family that loves and supports me in what I strive to do, and accepts me as am where ever I am.

Sure childhood wasn't easy, and I saw many things happen in my home that I wished I didn't, but I've got everything else. Yes, my parents went through a nasty divorce that put my sister and I in the middle of a few traumatic episodes. It's unfortunate that I only got to live in a house for a few years. I was put in a neglected kid's home while my sister got to be with dad, and I remember being left to fend for myself while my mother was out taking drugs and breaking the law, but so what? These are the earliest memories I have of when God started to teach me how to be brave.

"..They say I'm crazy but I have a good time.."

I have good health. I am looked after. Happily I am still able to look and care after others. I am living exceptionally well.

All the achievements that I've been able to complete to this day are great gifts that I can be proud of even though I belittle each one of them. I am able to make life happen for myself, instead of walking though it believing its made me. Even though I think these choices are easy and there's no excuse for not doing them, I guess it's kinda cool that I have.

I don't feel that my life lacks any value or meaning. I don't feel that I lack the same because I am without a husband, house, high-paying job, children, etc. And I am 30 years old! Shouldn't I be afraid? I know other women wouldn't want the same. We (myself included) freak out when we reach 30 years of age and don't have any of the before-mentioned dreams. I was one of them.

"..Lucky I'm sane after all I've been through
I can't complain but sometimes I still do.."

I suffer from injured pride. I am humbled because it took the cancer stick slap-in-the-face to wake me up from all my frustration and despair. But overjoyed now that I have realized that though all of the above desires can be wonderful blessings in a woman's life, they certainly don't make it. I wasted too many years being upset that I had none of these situations in my life. I want those years back!

It's much easier to be a friend, servant, believer, and a woman without all of that self-inflicted pressure. I wish it for all my single girlfriends, and boyfriends with similar issues.

And the Cancer? I have been able to walk through treatment mainly on my own, without any difficulty. I have plenty of support, and a mostly put-together brain that allows me to work, drive, talk/think/joke/laugh/read/ and bake cookies without any real problems. I get annoyed when I fuse words together, or forget my keys, but I'm thinking that problem is more to old age setting in..;) And lest I forget, I GOT TO GO TO AUSTRALIA!!!!

"..I keep on going guess I'll never know why-LIFE'S BEEN GOOD TO ME SO FAR...!"

*Lyrics borrowed from Joe Walsh with possible permission.

The Heat Is On (Again)

2009-05-16T18:08:00.000-07:00

Another classic 80's rock song that I should purchase off iTunes to add to my compilation.

I wanted to take a little time to post a quick blog about my recent trip to San Diego and update all of you readers since I know that you've been concerned and anxious to hear about my situation.

I flew into San Diego on Monday the 11th. I had a few preliminary appointments to get cleared for surgery on Wednesday. Lab draws, the go-ahead from anesthesiology, and another MRI to map specific points in my brain to be used as a GPS during surgery.

The biopsy results (including path) revealed that the increased blood flow and duration results from the Profusion are consistent with tumor recurrence. Obviously not something that I want considering that I have not even been battling this disease for a year, and yet there are already signs of progression. Additional surgery is not a desirable option or part of the current plan. Instead I am to receive another radiation "boost."

Here's the fancy hospital built to give the feel of a nice hotel:

More radiation means more radiation to the area that was already treated last winter. Another round of radiation has its risks, and I am told that most hospitals wouldn't provide this type of treatment a second time for the same beast. Because the area to be treated is small at this point, and because it is adjacent to the cavity where my initial tumor was partially resected, my doctors advise to proceed with more radiation.

The plan was to go ahead with 5 days of radiation treatment to this area starting Monday. My original UCD Radiation Oncologist never shared specific information of his treatment plan/summary with my Radiation oncologist (Dr. Murphy) at UCSD, so I've decided to complete the footwork to get this information expedited as soon as possible and then resume treatment in San Diego on May 26. I am not encouraged to "sit and wait" or to avoid treatment altogether, but I just didn't feel comfortable rushing into treatment so soon knowing that the concise plan from my previous treatment was not readily available for my San Diego Physicians. Although the information is unlikely to have a profound affect on my new course of treatment, I feel more at ease to go through with this course of action.

Other than that, I am well. It is hot outside, and I met two new cool friends today and hung out with them at their Garage Sale. :)

Here's a shot of the Rose Garden in bloom (taken end of April):

Sacramento at Spring

2009-04-12T21:32:00.000-07:00

Just a quick update before my other one this week.

Some pics of why I love Sacramento and why its extra beautiful this time of year.

I'm not sure how many people wished that their drive home after work took LONGER than it actually did, but I do. In fact, I drive slow on the way home just to savor this a little bit longer. No matter what kind of day I've had at work, my drive home calms me and puts me at rest.

A shot of the tourboat crossing under the swing draw bridge along the Sacramento River downtown. This is also the bridge that carries the passenger train through town!

This is a view of downtown and central Sacramento from above, via the I-80 e/b. You can see the canopy that covers the city of trees.

More soon. I hope everyone enjoyed celebrating Easter today. Remember why we do!

No More Bad Hair Days

2009-03-14T19:35:00.000-07:00

Since my roommate doesn't own an electric shaver, and because Josh didn't want to do it for me, and Ian was busy back over Christmas, my ninjas, past and present with friends included, gathered together at our Ninja Masters' house to shave my lovely half bald head. I was getting nervous to the day, since I've never been bald before now, but once I started finding cute scarves and after I'd grown fed up with picking the last stray hair of my shirt, it was time to party!!

Pizza, chocolate brownies, adult beverages and an adorable toddler made the evening tons of fun. We all got tired around 9:30 like the old men and women that we are, but we had fun. I had fun. I was able to rock the half-bald woman look, now I can rock the slight fuzz-bald woman look! I'm actually quite happy with it. Thank you Ninja Master!!

A picture says it all~

2009-03-08T18:47:00.000-07:00

Already memories are fading of my trip to the island in the South Pacific. Was I really there?

Back to work this past week, adjusting just fine. Starting to be tired at the end of the day :) Me pals at work are great and this friday we're getting together to eat drink and make me less hairy. :)

Saw Watchmen with the boys friday night. I knew absolutely nothing about the novel, but I knew that Josh/Clay were excited about it and it's the kind of movie you've got to see on the big screen. Apparently directed by the same man from 300, I must say it was much more visually stunning and mesmerizing. I'm really surprised that there are mixed reviews. A long movie, but one that doesn't feel like you've been sitting for 3 hours like you did for Dark Knight. (I mean you remember watching that movie waiting for it to end-too much plot toward the finale). I loved the partial historical aspect and humor to the story. A classic tale of humanity destroying itself and wondering what is actually worth saving. I'll see it again at some point but I recommend that you all see it.

Lost an hour of sleep last night as did you all, but I woke up at 9:30 or so I thought-my cell did not auto update so I missed half of this mornings' sermon at church. Boy did I feel silly!

So I asked a lovely Australian woman (who was on her way to LA to go to San Diego) on my return flight back to the US to take a picture of my "sad face." This is the end result.

Perfect!

A few of my favorite things

2009-02-19T20:45:00.001-08:00

So I think I left my heart in Sydney. Part of me still feels like I'm there. Similar to when I came home from my very first New York trip, I immediately came home and wished I'd never left. Suddenly flying over sunny California wasn't so sweet as it once was. And nowhere near as beautiful as Australia.

Next time I go back (yes there will be a next time--someday) I will not book through a silly travel agent (no qantas vacations) and I will spend more time in Sydney. We were only in Syd for 4 nights, and we had 3 tours while we were there. Saw the Blue Mountains (what we could with the rain/fog) the village of Leura, and the Featherdale Wildlife Park. I could never tire of spending time up close with the native animals/wildlife of Oz. Also had a short city tour of Sydney and a backstage tour of the Opera House.

I'm going to spend some time going through the hundreds of pics we have of our two weeks down under and prepare an apple book photo album, but here are a few pics of random places.

Here's a shot of me over the Darling Harbor bridge with a bit of Sydney in the background. We had RAIN in Sydney more than any other place we visited in the country.

A shot of what is called "The Gap" an entrance into the Sydney "hah bah" :)

Susie and I up at Barron Falls in the Kuranda Village (near Cairns)

I got about 35 minutes at Bondi Beach in Sydney during my City Sights tour. The sun came out for a short while the afternoon of my last full day in Sydney. Just in time for me to capture a few beautiful shots. (more to come later).

A good shot of a crater looking thing at Uluru (Ayers Rock)

And one of my fave shots of the birds and I at Birdworld/Kuranda. The orange-y bird is my new friend, a sun Conure or something like that. He stayed on my shoulder for an hour and was incredibly sweet/friendly. The other bird, is obviously a parrot. Just like the one my uncle used to have. :)

I'll post more pics soon. Sleep is starting to catch up with me. I'm glad to be home safely and back with all my friends/family but there is NO other place like Australia. :)

Ayers Rock Resort

2009-02-12T22:30:00.000-08:00

WE arrived at 1 pm today. Our room is off of the pool. We had a lovely swim earlier this afternoon. This pool is kept clean by chlorine (as opposed to salt) so it was nice. Weather temperature is surprisingly comfortable. Plenty of sun, but not really hot at all. We even got cold swimming in the pool when the breeze passed by us.

And we're in the australian desert in the northern territory!! We're here until sunday morning, then we head to Sydney. We will be very busy in Sydney. A few tours, and Susie will meet up with a friend too.

So far this desert is amazingly beautiful. You'll see!

The flies we could live without. Bryson was right. :)

Tonight we have dinner at uluru under the outback sky at sunset.

Tropical Cairns/Kuranda

2009-02-11T22:31:00.000-08:00

GREAT day. Hugged/cuddled a koala. Pet/fed some wallabies and kangaroos. Walked around the rainforest with a "sunny connor" on my shoulder all day. Faced a few fears and rode the skyrail down the mountain. This was all at the Kuranda village. Took a train up the mountain, saw gorgeous waterfalls..it's all so amazing. I'll make a detailed applebook when I return!! :)

I have TONS of pictures of all this, and I will upload them once I get a new camera cord. SORRY!

Felt weird today too. Had a few of those "mini seizures" related to the deja-vu sensation. Kinda weirds me out. For those of you who already know about them, please keep praying for me.

The weather was beautiful I really hope that you will make Cairns/Australia Tropical North QLD one of your vacation destinations soon.

Love you all!

Cairns is the place to be

2009-02-10T00:04:00.000-08:00

So, it's been a beautiful day so far. Tropical North QLD (that's queensland for short) is amazing. We've had a great day of swimming, amphibian/crab gazing, walking, etc. Unfortunately I can not find my camera cord to upload my new pics. I could've sworn it was packed, because I specifically remember unplugging it and putting it in my bag. So, I will have to use the following pictures instead, courtesy of google images to give you a rough idea of the lagoon we swam in today and a basic feel of the place.

New Room with views-Gold Coast Shops (more pics)

2009-02-08T22:04:00.000-08:00

So we're in our new room for our last night at the Gold Coast. Here are a few pics. Tomorrow morning at 4 am we leave for Cairns.

For people trying to keep up with the time difference, right now it is Monday the 9th at 4 pm, and my computer is still on PST time, and it's Sunday at 10 pm for you all!!

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Some pics of the Surf-Gold Coast

2009-02-08T11:48:00.000-08:00

Since I heard there weren't any good pics yet, thought I would post these. ;) Susie doesn't know what she's talking about. I'M the one that looks bad in some of these photos!! Anyway, putting that aside, here you go.

Shots of the surf/flags (area safe to swim) etc. And one of the boardwalk too.

Australia Zoo, Crikey!

2009-02-08T01:55:00.000-08:00

Today we had a blast at the zoo. I did not expect that we would be able to actually TOUCH the animals!! Amazing really, beautifully landscaped, completely walkable, fun. Took a couple hours to get there/back, but we had a fun driver/guide named Alf too.

Here we are up close and personal with the Roo's.

I got a pic with a Koala too, but not Susie.

We saw the Croc show, which was quite entertaining as well. More later. Tomorrow is our last day in Gold Coast, Tuesday morning we leave for Cairns. (very early).

We have arrived..Forget Chris' "room with a view!"

2009-02-06T21:31:00.000-08:00

Sunny. Warm. Huge Surf. Gold Coast is a beaut so far. Here are a few pics to keep y'all happy.

Check out the VIEWS (plural) from our room!

Nice shot of the river too. (That we don't know the name of yet). Oh and it is Saturday the 7th here about 4 pm or so.

And Now for some shots of the beach, and a bit of the surf. More pics to come...I'm at a mcdonalds by the hotel right now cause it is free for wi-fi.

Treatment is over-time for new things!

2009-01-24T20:57:00.000-08:00

Hey guys! For those of you without facebook accounts, I promised I would put up some pics of my treatment. My last day of radiation was Friday Jan 23rd. I am on a break from chemo for 5 weeks! Score! When I do start chemo again, it will only be for monthly "pulses" (5 days of chemo per month).

For the most part, I had not problems during treatment. I didn't have headaches which was awesome because that meant I did not have to go back on the Decadron (steroids) which everyone knows I despise. Also, I never got sick, save for the one time (my first day of treatment) that I ate too much Thai food with Josh. I was able to work and go to treatment until January 5, when I went on short term disability to get through my last few weeks of treatment. The only thing to wear on me was getting up at 5, getting to work by 7, working until 3:30 and then going to the cancer center for treatment every week (m-f). I was usually exhausted by the weekend. I'm still a little bit of an old lady, going to bed before 9:30 PM. But as I've said before, I've been through worse things than Brain Cancer. I am hoping and praying that I will continue to respond well to treatment and live a long life.

Enjoying my private room on the 11th floor with a view of the SD valley:

Last day of radiation treatment pics. Now you can see the big machine, and get an idea of my daily routine. Only took about 10-25 minutes.

And here's my therapist Jesse getting things ready. Nice guy.

And a close up of the mask, the plastic mold of my face to keep me from moving while on the table.

It Sure Is Cold In Hockeytown

2009-01-13T12:28:00.000-08:00

Had a great visit with my Grandpa and really surprised my Dad on my trip to Michigan. Went shopping with my sister at an OUTDOOR mall while it was snowing, saw the Wings beat Buffalo in the final three minutes, and took my 87 year old Grandpa to the theatre to see Gran Torino. Was fortunate enough to see my m&m's, They're my cousins of Islamic descent and they're 6 gals whose names each begin with the letter 'm' of course. I only got to see 3 of the 6, but I enjoyed every minute with those three. Came back Monday afternoon and didn't hesitate to call and text the family to let them know how sunny and warm it was back home in the Golden State.

A shot of the ice before the game. This time we sat on the opposite side of the cameras should our faces actually get on tv.

The Wings won, but only in the last three minutes of the game. Here's the goalie group pat on the head pic.

And the Tron reveals the final score:

More shots of the game. Gee, you'd think I only came for the Hockey ;)

Me and my beautiful Aunt Marianne

And My gorgeous m&m's

Here's my second cousins Janessa and Kaliah, bigger since the last time I saw them and twice as cute.

And now the Handsome guy in this photo is My Grandpa Sidney

and finally, my sister and I

I know, all that and no pictures of the snow? Use your imagination.

Thoughts Of A Sunburned Country

2009-01-05T11:46:00.000-08:00

Ok everyone. So I've decided to THINK about it. I've decided not to be too scared to want to make any fun plans, and just go with it. These won't be pics you've never seen before, but they'll give you an idea of the places I want to go. And I want to go to each of them. Not just Sydney, but also Cairns, Ayers Rock (Uluru), Brisbane, Gold Coast, etc. Id have to take the train to some of these parts...but If I'm gonna go, I've got to do as much as I can. Now, the only thing I need is a friend to join me.

Some pics of Sydney Beaches

Some beaches have rock pools, carved from the rocks left at the beach.

Of course I want to see the desert

And the rainforest in Cairns

And of course the city of Sydney and all it has to offer

And yes, I've picked up Bill Bryson's In A Sunburned Country to read and get a little insight into the country I've loved from afar for so long.

A favorite pasttime. NOT for kids!!

2008-12-30T17:52:00.000-08:00

So there's this story about a time when Lesley, myself, and some intervarsity friends were looking through our friends' Scott's alphabetical list of movies in the family collection. We found a typo, and that spawned my favorite little game called:

"Porn titles that Could (have been)."

Without any manipulation, these honest movie titles-said with a twist, could have been something completely different. Have fun. Laugh a little.

The Firm

The Inside Man

Gone In 60 Seconds

Dante's Peak (A personal favorite)

Deep Impact

Bring it On

What Lies Beneath

The Score

Bedtime Stories

The Girl Next Door

And for those with other tastes:

About A Boy

Wonder Boys

Riding In Cars With Boys

Bangkok Dangerous

Big Mama's House

The Fast and the Furious

And with that, time to get stuff done around the house. Hope everyone is having a great week.

Simply Having a Wonderful Christmastime

2008-12-28T19:44:00.000-08:00

Christmas was great this year as always, but this year it actually snowed in Tehachapi on Christmas Day-late afternoon. Not a ton of snow, guess the week prior was filled with snow days, but I was happy to get some snow. I was happy until I had to walk to the theatre in the cold,icy wind-but it was good. We took some pictures on our way to Muna's for boxing day. My camera has got an excellent steady hand feature.

And this shot was through the desert on our way to Muna's:

More later, I was going to blog a bit tonight but I ended up watching a silly movie with my roommate. BUT, I got a new iPod dock/cdplayer thing from Jen and I LOVE IT!!!
Back to the grind tomorrow. This will be a big week. Love to all.

Coming Soon

2008-12-15T16:42:00.000-08:00

Hello All,

Here's a picture for you.

Treatment update and Christmas tree!

2008-12-02T22:06:00.000-08:00

Over thanksgiving Rachel kindly pointed out that I don't update my blog very much. She's right. I'm going to be more on top of things from now on...

I started my Radiation and Chemotherapy treatments on December 1st. It was a long day. I went to work and also started my training on our new systems software. But there were problems with my pharmacy and insurance and Dr's office with regard to having the prescriptions filled and approved on time. I almost missed my Radiation treatment because it looked like I wasn't going to get my medication in time. I was late to Radiation, but the staff were friendly and honestly the treatment is painless. My MRI's were far more uncomfortable and annoying.

I had plans to have dinner with Josh that night and I had a craving for Thai so we went to Thai Basil. Now I read all the instructions on my medication before taking the pills, but I overlooked the part about how I should only have 5 small meals a day. I ate way too much Thai food and ended up waking up at 3am this morning to be sick. so, I have to be more careful and follow instructions completely, but I believe I will do fine on this treatment.

I got a small tree for our house because I love the smell of a fresh tree, but it was much harder for me to decorate a noble fir than I had expected. Growing up we always had the Douglas fir, but I think I still did a pretty good job.

I also stopped by late this afternoon at the Children's Home and saw some of my old friends and coworkers. It was a nice visit. I really miss them and some of the work that I did while I was a part of the team.

California Academy of Sciences-Awesome!

2008-11-11T21:11:00.000-08:00

So Julie and I went to the new museum in Golden Gate Park on Monday November 10. It was completely PACKED with other anxious visitors like ourselves. Well worth the money, and by far the best museum I've been to in a long time. We were able to see the Planetarium (got in the nick of time) and the 3D Bug show which was quite fun as well. Here are some pictures. I stayed one night at a Hotel called Hotel Carlton and it felt more like a B&B than a hotel because it was void of your typical sterile hotel decor. Infused with art, culture, and pictures from around the world, it was quite the treat.

And here's a view from the room..you can see it through the screen!

For Susie, a Tomato Frog:

For Clay, a Giant Stuffed Bear!!

My favorite, the Phirana:

Just so you know, there are lots more pictures, and this museum boasts a Rainforest, Aquarium, Planetarium, and Living Roof. There is so much to see! Here's Julie and I being silly:

One shot from the Aquarium:

A Party To Remember

2008-11-02T19:53:00.000-08:00

So, though my best buddy got hurt on her way to the airport and couldn't make it for the big event, it still went off without a hitch. I was so happy to see the friends that I've missed while I was away. We had laughs, good food, good beer and other beverages, and good times. I was surprised that everyone fit in the house. I hadn't had a large party since I lived in midtown, and that unit was actually smaller. Anyway, here are some pics from the night. Thanks again to everyone who came, and those who couldn't--you were missed!!

Paula, Jessica and I (Above) Charlie too...

And here's Katie (holding meagan) Faye, Kristen, and Amanda (below)

And a picture of one of my cakes! That's right, there were two!! Paula made me a homemade red velvet cake! So tasty! This picture is of the one from Costco

Jeff and Clay discuss something very serious:

Jennifer, Christina, Laura and Kirk, manning the food table.

So we all had lots of fun. Some of us even played our favorite drawing game (kind of like pictionary and telephone combined). Here's to many more years!

Pacific Beach and Visit With Shannon

2008-10-31T19:56:00.000-07:00

Finally made it to the beach, and it was a beautiful day in the little town of PB.

A little idea of the shops around PB at Garnet and Cass streets:

And my long lost friend from High School happened to be out on a trip with her husband to Anaheim for an optometrist convention and she came to San Diego for a nice visit. So good to see her and the boys. I didn't get a picture of her little tot Jude who is incredibly cute at the age of 3 who had a blast playing with Miss Pickles.

And guess what? I am posting this blog from MY HOME IN SACRAMENTO! That's right...I'm baaaaack! Just got home at 4 this afternoon. It feels nice to be in a place that feels like my home but it feels a little strange too after being gone for so long.

I'm Radioactive

2008-10-17T21:05:00.000-07:00

Well I'm not uptight
Not unattracted
Turn me on tonight
Cause I'm radioactive

Today I went to the Radiation Oncologist in La Jolla for the injection of the radioactive isotope. It felt quite bizarre. I could feel the injection of the needle and syringe as it filled the balloon in my skull with liquid. Not many can say they know what it feels like to have something poured into your head! It was a little awkward and uncomfortable but not really painful. Then to mu delightful surprise my Neurosurgeon removed the staples from my head as well.

So, right now I'm dangerous. More dangerous than usual. My family cannot come within 3 feet of me. I can't go near Miss Pickles. I can't go near any small children or animals. I'm surprised that I'm no danger to myself! As you'll see from the pics below, my uncle thought that to further protect himself I might want to wear a hat...

Come Wednesday next week the radioactive isotope will be removed, and somewhere near the end of the month I will have the surgical procedure to remove the balloon and catheter.

All in all, I am enjoying myself very much in San Diego. It's nice to have my family by my side and to just focus on recovery. I'm already 50 pages away from finishing the 3rd book in the Twilight Series, a series I'd only just begun before I arrived in San Diego. I intend to make it to the beach while I'm here just to relax, and I intend to hop around town whenever possible. I'm told to stay away from Tijuana. Here's a pic of my room at my Uncles' house:

Miss you all. Thank you for the cards and well-wishes and for all the pretty flowers. They've really made each day here that much more special. I hear there is supposed to be some hip party when I return....
In the meantime- I love this picture of my head bandages after the surgery.

I am feeling great

2008-10-11T19:41:00.000-07:00

I wanted to upload some pictures but that will have to wait for another time.

I feel so relieved to be out of surgery. All went really well, and I have been impressed. My surgeon is quite satisfied with the procedure.

I'm now at my uncle Kevin's house in San Diego recovering. I have my own cute little room upstairs that has windows that look out over the canyon. My bed is very soft and comfortable and I'm taking all my meds as instructed.

I have a couple of appointments in the near future, just next week. I've still got to get the radioactive material placed in the balloon that is inside my brain/skull. I believe it stays in for about 5 days. Kinda freaky but I've got to trust the doctor.

I'll be home soon and I look forward to seeing you all.

I need a new digital camera

2008-09-10T07:06:00.000-07:00

So, time for something new?

Treatments are to start soon. Probably in a couple of weeks unless I can squeeze in some second opinions before I begin. I had an appointment yesterday with radiation oncology to simulate the treatment that will be given to me. They took another CT scan and made a mold of my face and neck out of this plastic thing. It's basically going to be like a cover/shield when I get into the machine. It keeps me still.

I'm pretty excited about a trip that I was invited to. Disneyland! Can you believe that I haven't been since 97 Grad Nite? I'm going with a couple ladies from work and it's going to be pretty awesome. Maybe I'll catch a photo with Eeyore? ;)

Lesley is coming out to visit me again later this month. She'll be here on the 25th.

Other than that, things are pretty much as they were before. Things are getting back to normal at work, and I still don't have any headaches.

Anaplastic Astrocytoma

2008-09-01T09:56:00.000-07:00

I know it's a mouthful.

Grade III. The worst is grade IV- a glioblastoma multiforme. I don't have that one.

It's cancer. I'm ok. There's not a very good nor a very definitive prognosis.

The tumor is too large to operate. 5 x 6 x 9 centimeters. About the size of my fist all squished in my right Temporal lobe. (It's good that it's in my least dominant lobe of the brain; thank goodness I am right handed).

Radiation therapy and Chemotherapy is standard treatment. Radiation has been proven to be effective, the chemo--not so much. I'm not sure if I will undergo chemotherapy until I get a second opinion and some additional questions answered. Much of the research and articles available online state that chemotherapy is not a proven beneficial treatment for this type of tumor/cancer. So I don't want to be sick as a dog and on my ass for a year or lying in some bed if I don't have to. Oncologists will try to tell me that my lifespan will be even shorter if I don't do the chemo, but then they also tell me to try and do normal things and have a positive outlook. I would like to try to do the normal things I enjoy doing, and since there is no way to tell how my body will respond with chemo, and if it's not even all that beneficial...

The enormity of the situation is still a lot to swallow and a little too big to wrap my arms around at this point.

Right now the best thing that can help me is all my family and friends' smiling faces, normal daily activities and routines, a positive outlook, etc.

I'll write more after I meet with the radiology oncologist sometime this week. I'll write more after my consultation with a nurse from Loma Linda University's proton therapy program. A treatment option my loving uncle recommended that I look into..

See you all soon.

The Waiting is the Hardest Part

2008-08-24T23:39:00.000-07:00

I will usually try to think of some silly lyrics or song title to name my posts cause I'm a nerd like that.

I don't know for sure that I have cancer. I don't know what my next step will be. I don't know that the tumor is even malignant. There have been hints, worst case scenarios, but mostly just uncertainty.

After I came out of surgery and was sent to recovery, a surgeon spoke to my dad and said these things:

"She has a long road ahead of her."

"It will have to be removed."

"She will need Chemo."

Now, no doctor nor the neurosurgeon assigned to my case has even said any of these things to me. I have only been told that it takes two weeks for the results of the biopsy to come back from pathology. By the time that my September 11 follow up appointment rolls around, it will have been 3 weeks and 3 days. I was told I couldn't drive for at least a week, but that's it. Tomorrow I am going to hunt down a doctor or nurse to get a release to go back to work. There is not a chance in hell that I am going to sit around the house and dwell on the situation. I'm going to jump right back to normal activities ASAP. I want to get back to work...

Alright enough of that--Lesley got married this weekend!! For those of us who know her well it's amazing to see her interested in someone at all. Many boys have tried, many have failed. She is going to enjoy a full week of honeymoon bliss with her man up in Tahoe/Truckee/Bridgeport just hiking and fishing. :) She told Jeremy that he could plan the honeymoon, but relaxing by the lake and soaking up the rays is Lesley's style anyhow.

Here's a picture from Lesley's wedding that I had to STEAL from Jennifer's page since she is taking her sweet time with emailing me those pictures...

More soon.

Head Games

2008-08-18T06:52:00.000-07:00

It's Monday August 18. I woke up at 6:00 am because I think I heard the person in the bed next to me. I'm still hooked up to an IV receiving fluids because I am unable to eat or drink.

But I am still not in the books (on the schedule) for a biopsy just yet. I have no idea when or if I will be going into surgery today. The lack of information and the snoring going on next to me is making me have a headache and go crazy. I had to leave my room and go sit down the hall in this waiting area where there are computers. The sun is rising at it looks beautiful.

But I'm thirsty.

I don't like the bathroom in my room so I get up and walk myself and my IV stand to the bathroom down the hall. Those ones are supposed to be cleaned regularly. I also do it just to get up and move. I've been walking around barefoot and the nurses tell me that's not ok! Who knows what's on these floors they say...

I say it's too hot to wear socks.

My dad got a hotel and a pizza last night. Judy brought me some cheerful flowers to brighten my room. Adam brought me some of my silly historical fiction books that I checked out from the library and my cell phone charger and thankfully, my laptop. I feel better having this stuff with me. It's hard not to lose your mind with anticipation, anxiety, and impatience while you're waiting to see if your head is going to be cut open and tested. I'm not worried about anything except missing Lesley's wedding. I want to wear that beautiful dress, celebrate with her and be there for every moment. I'm not worried about what this could be (yet) just worried that the doctor's are taking their sweet time before getting around to my case.

Seriously, how much does an overnight hospital stay cost? I've been here too long already.

Anyway, I appreciate all the calls, the visits, (Thank you Clay) and the conversation while I wait. Bear in mind though, I'm leaving this place if they don't bring me in today. I'm ready to get off the roller coaster!

Dazed and Confused

2008-08-13T20:07:00.000-07:00

I've finally calmed down enough to write another blog.

After a week of headaches, last weekend I thought I should catch up on some rest. Impossible actually, you cant "catch up" on missed rest. What I should of said was that I tried to make the time to rest this weekend. I got a little..

I've been feeling a little out of sorts ever since I got back from Urgent Care after the second Migraine. I just assumed I was loopy from the morphine given to me.

Then this week was really hard as far as work is concerned. Monday-Thursday, gone in a flash. I will be at my desk working, I'll be in the office for an hour, and all of a sudden it's lunchtime and then I'm going home. This isn't a simple case of "Time flies when you're having fun." This is work, work is work. Sometimes its fun, mostly it's just work. That has probably been the most bizarre feeling I've felt since the recent migraine episodes. Have you ever felt like time has gotten away from you and you don't know where it went?

"Then one day you find ten years have got behind you, no one told you when to run..."

(Sorry, always time for a Floyd tangent)

I've been having a hard time concentrating on anything. Work, what I'm doing, what I'm thinking, even speaking has been a little challenging for me this week. I've been slurring over my words and that makes me frustrated. There's nothing more annoying than a person stumbling over their words while you're trying to listen to what they're saying. (BTW, I hate that they're/their/etc is improper grammar when used with "a person." Who really wants to say his or her all the time instead when you're just generally speakaing?)

I even got so flustered and embarrassed just trying to talk to my roommate the other day. I was so embarrassed I had to leave the house and go for a drive. Its an uncomfortable feeling, feeling like you don't know what's going on-hence being Dazed and Confused. I'm not on drugs, but apparently I have been acting like it, and sometimes it's kind of fun actually, feeling all loopy and giddy and shit. There are also other strange ideas circling my head but I can't disclose any of that here right now. :)

At any rate my MRI is scheduled for Thursday evening at 7:30 at the UC Davis Medical Center. I'm a little nervous about getting into that tiny little machine, but mostly I just want the Doctor or Neurologist or whomever to sit with me afterwards and show me the pictures of my brain. Seriously, that would be interesting to see! But, I experience more frequently the results in the mail 2 weeks later. My primary health care physician thinks the recent headaches are nothing, simply related to hormones and perhaps the birth control pills. I haven't taken any pills in a few weeks, but will pick up a new prescription tomorrow to start again.

Josh introduced me to Quickly, an Asian tea shop downtown. I really love these bubble milk tea (no tapioca) beverages. I tried a Jasmine milk tea as well recently, it was weird because it tasted like I was drinking flowers.

Oh I'm now listening to "Evil Urges" by My Morning Jacket. My iTunes is currently on shuffle mode. It's 94 degrees INSIDE my house tonight, so I am sitting inside with the door open and the lights off. I have some "evil urges" of my own now.

Is it Lupus?

2008-08-06T20:08:00.000-07:00

Of course it's not lupus but I was imagining all the crazy things that could be causing my onset of recent migraines. (2 in one week and none ever before). So I had my follow up Dr. Appt today with my primary care physician to go over the events that took place when I had the second migraine. He said he wasn't going to approve or authorize any future shots at an urgent care clinic since they gave me morphine for the pain. He gave me something thats of a milder nature,(Toradol) and that is ok. I don't really remember everything that happened sunday and surprisingly the effects of morphine stayed with me a couple of days. I don't know how, but I got a lot of work done on Tuesday and Wednesday and I don't remember where the time went. A couple of coworkers pointed out that I had a bruise on my forehead as well that I had never noticed. Maybe its from resting my head on the toilet while I was experiencing the huge bouts of nausea?

Anyway, perhaps in an effort to reassure me (though I'm not sure why-because I didn't ask) the doctor has ordered an MRI of my brain just to make sure: "It's not a tumor!" He said I should take some nausea pills in case I get claustrophobic in that tiny little space. I said that I would be fine. We just have to get the approval from Blue Cross/Blue Shield PPO before I can take the exam. I don't want to get stuck with another huge hospital bill like I did after the kidney stones. I won't even go into that because I will get stressed. By the way, how do you know if your body feels stressed? How does that cause headaches? It's not like I clench my fists and jaw or anything...

After feeling a little loopy for a couple days I decided to go for a swim after work. I got in the pool, forgot my goggles so I had to swim without them. Then my head started throbbing, but it didn't feel like a migraine and there wasn't any nausea so I kept swimming. Just like Dora would say....

Little things are going on this week, like I also got a call from the alterations lady who said there were black spots on my dress, and I was frustrated because I noticed that there wasn't anything wrong with the dress when I dropped it off! And she fitted me for the hem too, so how come she didn't notice it sooner? Anyway I went by there today and my dress wasn't there, apparently they took it upon themselves to get the dress dry cleaned, so hopefully all turns out well. I am maid of honor in a couple weeks! By the way, I am looking forward to seeing you all there. You know that the invite said the Newkirk Family, right? Lesley said that the only ones who RSVP'd were Scott and Jen.

Which reminds me...I've got to send out another evite....

Wednesday July 30th

2008-07-31T20:48:00.000-07:00

As you may read this, you may think that I'm a total dummy, that the answer was completely obvious and staring me in the face. Well I was a dummy and I couldn't see what was really going on around me.

This was yesterday, wednesday July 30 as I've already said. I woke up with an excruciating headache. I've been getting headaches all week. Three weeks ago I was having painful headaches too, but they weren't like the ones I was having this week. Wednesday morning I woke up with a huge headache and took Advil like any other person would do with a headache, and then I got ready for work. I usually check my email before I leave the house and as I was staring at the computer I started to feel nauseated. But I hadn't had anything to eat so I couldn't throw up anything. So I left for work.

I think I might have been at work for about an hour when I started to feel worse. I felt my throat tighten like I was going to vomit, but there wasn't anything to vomit. So I kept my head over my trash can at my cubicle and just sat there, hoping something would happen. I still tried to get some work done, but then I was having trouble viewing my function keys that I need to use when I'm in the system. I managed to get an email out to my interim boss, and told her that I was on the phone trying to make an appointment to see a doctor. By the time I had finished typing the email I had an appointment at 3 p.m.

So I told my teammate and buddy that I was leaving, that I wasn't feeling well and I c ould no longer see my computer screen completely. All I saw were cursors flashing. Then I went to the elevator to go down to the underground parking garage to get in my car and drive home. My eyes were still seeing flashing cursors but I thought I was fine and though i would be just fine once I got home. I backed out of my parking space just fine and was on my way. I made it out of the automatic gate and down the driveway and then onto Response Rd. by kaiser and was on my way. Then I felt a bump on the driver's side of my car like I ran into the median, but I wasn't sure so I pulled over and turned on my hazards. I couldn't open my drivers' side door so I had to crawl out the passenger side door. Then a construction worker guy came up to me in his orange vest and said I hit him and hit his bobcat. He said there was no damage but showed me the bobcat tire and the scuff marks against it. The tire was tall. I said I didn't see him there. (Turns I didn't) Then all of a sudden one of my directors was on the scene and I don't remember how he got there. I don't remember how all those events transpired that morning. Somehow he moved my car and told me to get into his truck and that we were going to go back to the office and he would get someone to drive me home. We got back to the office and another Manager, named Joe took me home. Scott, the director was asking me all kinds of questions, like about the surroundings, but then he asked me if i partied the night before and if I had any other substance. I don't think he believed me when I told him no.

Came home, finally threw up, crashed and went to sleep until 2 pm. My friend Clay came to get me and drove me to see the doctor. The doctor told me that I simply had a migraine and that they would never be this bad again, that the first one would be the worst. I've never had a migraine before, and I thought they just were bad headaches that sometime made people sick. I didn't know you might not be able to see properly on top of it. so I got a couple of shots in the bum and was sent on my way. Clay took me back to his house, where we waited for Josh and then the 3 of us went to go pick up the car that was left at Kaiser and then josh drove me and the car home and then I went back to sleep. I woke up at 9:30 pm, ate something and then went back to sleep and didn't wake until 6 am this morning.

So I am all better now, only a slight headache. I spent all afternoon/evening cleaning my carpets with a rented rug doctor because I couldn't stand how dirty they were anymore. I feel like I lost a bunch of time and now I feel wide awake. I went to the body shop earlier today. I got an estimate to repair the car $1200. I am not sure when I will get it fixed. I got the guy at the shop to use some took to bend the fender back so that I could open my car door so now I don't really care about getting it fixed right away. It's mostly minor damage. It just makes that sound that Scot and Jen's Corolla makes when you open the p/s door.

So I feel incredibly silly for having a headache and acting out of it like I was on drugs. I can only imagine the stories circling the department at work. I guess I will find out tomorrow...

So, sorry Susie and Jen, now I know what your migraines feel like...

Working For A Living

2008-07-15T20:16:00.000-07:00

These are the visions I have in my head every Monday through Friday:

Some things you should know about your Insurance Policy and the Rules of the Road:

1. I know that car in front of you "stopped suddenly" and you couldn't keep from hitting them; but please try-you're following too close.

2. I know you weren't at fault for the accident and "the other guy should have to pay" but this is why you have Insurance, it's not only for the times when you cause the accident.

3. Your deductible is a contractual agreement between you and your Insurance company; It cannot be waived because the accident wasn't your fault-read your policy!

4. When you tell me on the phone that you've never been in an accident and you've been driving for 40 years, make sure you're telling the truth because all it takes is a couple of keystrokes and I've got your claims history.

5. I know that some nasty guy "cut you off" on the freeway so you had to swerve to miss him, but in doing so, you struck the guard rail and the guy "got away," but you essentially caused the damage by swerving. You'll be found at-fault.

6. If you get in an accident with another party, get their contact information. That means phone number, Insurance info, and any other pertinent information.

7. Even though you had that green light and you made the left turn, doesn't mean that other guy was required to stop for you. Yield to oncoming traffic! I know his headlights were off, and he was a mile away, but keep your eyes open.

8. If a deer crosses your path of travel, hit the deer, don't swerve to miss it and strike a tree, if you do, it's not the deer's fault!

9. I know you don't have $1000 to pay your deductible, it's not my fault- next time choose a more reasonable amount to pay out of pocket.

10. And finally, there is no such thing as "full coverage." There is State required Liability coverage, and then there is better coverage, even better coverage, totally awesome coverage, and then some. Just because you have collision coverage, that does not mean you have rental coverage! You want Rental coverage, or Medical payments or uninsured motorists coverage-ask for them!

I Swam With Ducks!

2008-07-14T17:36:00.000-07:00

Not the Anaheim Ducks like my dad suggesged (though that would have been nice too!) But these were 10 chicks and a momma duck. I went to the park pool (was a very nice day for a swim) and amongst the kids and families, was a family of ducks! Apparently one of the ducks decided to leave the pond and she hatched her chicks in the pool area. Then decided that she would make the pool her new home. This actually scares me, I'm sure the chlorine is not good for those cute little furballs. And apparently Animal Control isn't interested in coming by to get them out of the water. Their response? "Just leave them for now."

I think I should alert the media. Ducks invade community pool, authorities indifferent!

Even though it was cute to see them in the water like that, most of the kids tried to chase/catch the ducks. They weren't having that, they kept swimming away. Seriously, unsupervised kids are brats. Nothing less. All these kids wanted to do was catch the ducks. They chased them, splashed them, etc. And unfortunately, my camera is still a POS and I am unable to provide you a picture of me and the ducks keeping cool in the blue water. Bit here's exactly what the mommy would have looked like and one of her chicks (no the little guy is only sleeping):

I am also happy to report that I didn't get sunburned (I didn't put sunblock on except on my feet) and I got just enough color to keep from looking pasty.

So everyone is going back to Florence Lake eh? When? I would like to drop by if I could park the car somewhere and catch a lift to the site---no easy feat I know!

Summer in the City

2008-07-12T21:31:00.000-07:00

So after another long week at work, I couldn't wait for the weekend. I had dinner plans Friday evening with Josh. We went to Paesano's in Midtown. It was a much nicer evening to be outside. I think it was only around 85 degrees, with a nice breeze. Josh had Risotto and I had the simple D'Angelo pasta (olive oil, basil, tomatoes). Then I got to go see Hellboy 2 with Clay and Josh! Exciting I know, another comic book movie. I saw the first Hellboy movie, several years ago when I still lived in Bako (and then with comic book hero loving boys) and found it to be entertaining, so it was no big deal seeing the second film, which was also entertaining! Mostly it was just nice to get out of the house since I have been couped up for too long due to the heat and smoky skies. The pictures below didn't do the scene justice (agree with Rachel's comment) but since my viewfinder is broken on my camera, I have to steal photos from flickr.com. (Thank you)!

Keeping with Comic Book Hero movies though, I am looking forward to seeing The Dark Knight. Christopher Nolan is doing a fantastic job with these new Batman movies; and Christian Bale is very easy on the eyes.

Anyhow, not a whole lot going on this weekend, but I am loving the daily updates and photos from Iceland! Keep them coming!

Smoke on the Horizon

2008-07-09T21:05:00.000-07:00

Today was probably the worst "smoky fire haze" day we have had in Sacramento since the fires started. It was thick, so thick that it even crept into our vents at work. I could smell it as I worked new claims at my cubicle. Some photos of the area:

Downtown/Midtown Sacramento

And I forgot to mention that our high temperature today was 108! The heat makes me want to stay indoors, but then I get cabin fever and become restless. I kept the cats inside until about 9 because I'm afraid they're getting dehydrated. Poor kitties, they love to play outside! I like to play outside too-and when I do, this is where I usually go: McKinley Park.

The Rose Garden:

Clunie Pool, where I swim.

Today though, I didn't go outside at all. Instead I went to see the "female" doctor, got a tetanus shot (first one since 1996) and tomorrow I will have blood drawn. Things are looking well though; I had a meeting with my boss this morning, and I did super well on my QA Audits for the first/second quarter. Around September folks should start to move within the company, and new positions/raises should be readily available!

The Heat Is On

2008-07-08T22:22:00.000-07:00

Welcome! This is my blog. I created it months ago, but couldn't find the energy to verbalize all my thoughts and happenings. I'm jotting down a couple of things tonight because it is too hot to do anything else. Seriously. My bed-hot. My couch-hot. Even the tv is hot.

I've had a few blogs over the last few years. Each of them have sort of disintegrated out into deep cyberspace. This one won't, however; it's all about fun and being a part of the blogging club. From time to time I will even post pictures, even though my camera is broken. So yes, even though I am without children, a sexy husband, or photogenic pets-my blog will be entertaining! I insist!